Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Current Listen:  If I Knew Then courtesy of Lady Antebellum

Just the title brings a flood of memories washing in, doesn't it? Ah, to go back to high school with the knowledge I have now.....things would be different....bitches would pay....and I'd probably be in a lot of trouble! I was so naive. When did the world become round?

Recently indulged in an online workshop about "putting yourself out there." The agent who taught the class (one my "fairygodmother" should give me) talked about author's blogsites. She warned us that agents look at your blogsite when considering your work. The sad thing, she said, is that authors spend a lot of time writing about their craft and not themselves. The comment was made that agents and publishers already know the mechanics of writing, but they know nothing about you. Yes, we all have our tabs (mine's above) that reveal just enough to let you know about us personally without giving out enough that a stalker will find us, but that's not what an agent is seeking.

What makes you tick? What do you love to do when you're not writing? How do you stir your muse from slumbering? Who are you? Like many, I've listed my favorite musical muses (always playing in my ears), movies, and books, but not why they are my favorites.

So today, I'm opening the screen door and inviting you inside off the porch. I'll warn you that you are not entering a sterile environment. After avoiding my lab with the soggy tennis ball waiting to play, you may have to push my favorite naptime blanket aside, readjust the several pillows on my sofa, and ignore the fact that you can probably write your name in the dust on the coffee table (and come back next week and still be able to read it). Let me confess that I hate housework. I do it because the Board of Health requires it, and on the weekends I slave the day away doing so, no one is allowed to walk on my floors, eat or drink, or use the bathroom facilities. "Life" will be lived elsewhere for at least twenty-four hours.

Below, I've posted a picture of one of the things I do love. Riding motorcycles. Harley Davidson is my brand of choice for the street, and my bright yellow four-wheeler affectionately named "Odie," takes me on my favorite mountain trails. They are also my "muse instigators." When I'm riding, I'm dreaming, thinking, and constantly plotting. My husband wanted to get helmets with walkie-talkies so we could "talk." Oh hell no!

My ride...my daydreams. Maybe I'm picturing him a couple years younger than me...twenty-something...buff, possibly naked from the waist up with a gnarly tattoo of the letters of my name (really long tattoo) artistically woven in rose covered vines (I'll add a small snake on the end to keep it "manly"), with waves of coffee colored hair edging his shoulders and tickling my wrinkle-free face when I lean into him. If he talks...well, you get my drift. The fantasy tears apart with topics of bills, politics, and what a dumb ass the guy in front of him is who cut him off. I even hesitated actually letting you get a glimpse of my "full body armor" thus, shattering the image I've carefully crafted of being a size "0" and outrageously beautiful. So I'm not a size "0."

Besides my writing, which is my true passion next to my hubby, reading clamours for attention, next. It fills the gaps when I can't write, still keeping my creative juices whetting my brain.

I read a post earlier about whether the new digital readers could possibly replace the old fashioned book? Books can be stapled, taped, and rubber banded when they fall apart, but drop an eReader, and it's over. All your "99 cent specials" are lost unless you paid double to the extra warranty. However, I own a Kindle and it is one of my prized possessions. Fits in my purse (as does most furniture by the size I lug around) so I can pull it out and read while waiting from doctor appointments to traffic jams. I can also read it when I'm the passenger on the back of my husband's Harley. But while taking a hot bath? I'd rather have the paperback I can pile bricks on top of to reshape when I accidentally (which "accidental" is listed as a strong personality trait) drop it into the bubbles.

So replace? No. Each has their place, and even though the eReaders are the "new kids on the block" and getting all the attention, eventually, they'll settle into their niche and become another good friend.

Aside from the "aforementioned" (I love using my developed legalese language once in a while), I like to cook, but that conflicts with my hatred of housework...cook means cleanup...so I really have to be in the mood. Camping is another favorite past time, although I found out after years of camping in tents with babies in diapers, that you can "camp" with a hot water heater, a flush toilet, and tempurpedic mattress. That's how this "princess" camps. Say what you want, I don't care. When I get up in the morning to my coffee brewing on the counter and you're freezing your assets in your fabric cocoon and have to get a fire going to put yours on to brew (20 minutes after I'm finishing my second cup), you'll be knocking on my "tent" for hot cup.

So that's me wrapped in chocolate (preferably dark). Come back again. Summer will be here soon, and we can spend some time in my courtyard sharing a cold drink, where a fountain trickles and my magnolia tree shades you from the 117 degree heat. Okay, so we'll go back inside where it's air conditioned, but the thought's lovely, isn't it? (And, so is being able to wear a size "0"!)

Until then....


Stina Lindenblatt said...

Darn it, because I really didn't want to talk about those things on my blog. Then people will know I'm a boring person. ;)

Tiffinie Helmer said...

Great post. I loved getting to know you better. You also gave me food for thought. Here's to the dark chocolate, no housework, and Harleys! You and I have a lot in common. :)

stanalei said...

Thanks for the glimpse and tip, Harley. Still dreaming about my blog and what I want share. But I'm with you on the dark choc, housework and camping. I leave the Harleys to my hubby.

perisquire30 said...

I am sooooo with you on "housework sucks"!! Dusting is my enemy! I'd rather scrub the toilet. Not that either one is tops on my list of things to do. LOL! I'm starting to think blog...maybe ETA: June? Awesome pic of you and hubby on Harleys. I'm envious.

~Roni Lynne
YA Adventures in the Paranormal...and Beyond!

Clancy said...

So jeslous - wish I had a Harley to cruise around on :)

J. Coleman said...

Housework. Pfft! What's wrong with dirt floors anyway? Just hate doing things that keep me from what I want to do. Love my Harley, but my husband's nickname is "buy-sell-trade." Mine's #16 and his is #17. Everything's always for sale at our house. I don't get attached! Thanks guys for stopping by!

Christina Wolfer said...

Geez, girl, I love the way you write. You suck me in, paint vivid images in my head and then yank me back to reality. Okay, with that said, I’m with you on the housework – yuk! And my husband wanted to put a phone in the horse barn and like you, I said hell no. That’s my time away from it all.

I also agree that our blogs should be about who we are which does include our writing life, but goes beyond that. For me, I’ve always thought of my blog as being for my future (said with hope) readers/fans.

As always – great post, Joelene.

Calisa Lewis said...

I swear we're twins! Only half opposites. I don't care for Harleys and I'm almost a size 0 (not by choice). Great post Joelene.